We chatted to experienced counselors Kamesh Flynn and Derek Woods to get some top tips about how to improve and build strong parent-teen relationships.

Tips for Parents/ Guardians
What top tips would you give to parents/guardians to help them improve their relationships with their teens?
Adolescence is a very self focused time. This can be frustrating as a parent. Give your teen space and time to get to know themselves as their bodies, values, friendships, opinions etc are all changing. Where they idolized you, and modeled everything on you as younger kids, adolescence is a time when they realize their opinions and the way they see the world can be different from how you see it. Understanding this process and being understanding will make this time more harmonious. If there is outright rebellion, be firm with boundaries, and be consistent with consequences. Don’t try and be your child’s friend, be their parent. If your child is acting out consistently there might be a root issue. Try and arrange for them to talk to a teacher or counselor. If the counselor or teacher calls you in for family therapy, co-operate. The most sustainable changes I have see have been when the whole family works together in therapy

.Tips for Teens
What top tips would you give to teens to improve their relationships with their parents/guardians?
Parents can sometimes seem painful and seem as if they are always trying to ruin your fun. Go easy on them. They want to protect you from the big bad world and at the same time allow you your freedom. Earn your parents’ trust. The minute you lie, or bend the truth, you will feel it as a restriction on your freedom. Don’t waste time experimenting with stuff you know is bad for you. Find things that are going to build you up, not break you down. This will also earn your parents respect. Show your parents that you can be trusted by making good decisions that have good consequences, not just for you, but for everyone around you.

Questions to help you open up:
Why not use these questions to start a conversation with your parent or child and try and see the world through each other’s eyes.

Parent to Teen

• Tell me the difference between society as you experience it now growing up and the society in which I grew up?
  
• Tell me how it is for you? What struggles and frustrations do you face? What are the fun things?
  

Teen to parent

• What was it like when you were a teenager? How do you think things are different now?
  
• Tell me about your struggles and frustrations? What do you love about your life and what would you like to change?

Finding out more about each other won’t mean you can help with every challenge, but having someone that understands and that you can chat to can give us the courage and support needed to deal with life’s joys and challenges.

Did you know?
A lot of anger is projected anger. Parents have had a bad day at work or trying to find work and teens have had a bad day at school. They come together in the evenings when they’re most tired and tempers are short and things can get explosive. This can be where arguments begin over silly things, just because people sense each other’s bad moods and think they are to blame for them and situations escalate.

Set quality time aside to spend with your teens and plan something fun. Something like having Saturday breakfast together, a game of soccer or a walk can be great for bonding.