Unprotected sex puts you at risk of pregnancy, HIV and STI's. Abstaining from sex or using condoms during sex are two major steps you can take to help protect yourself from all three!
Taking a closer look...
This issue of the You’re GOLD magazine looks at teenage pregnancy from a number of different angles. We want to get people talking about teenage pregnancy, instead of just sweeping it under the carpet. In many communities teenage pregnancy is simply accepted as part of life, even though it causes a lot of problems. We spoke to teenage moms and dads, peer educators and experts to get as much information as possible to start you talking in your schools and communities, right now.
You're the expert
Do you know that YOU can play an important role in being part of reducing the rate of teenage pregnancy in your community? Are you a teen mom or dad who understands the challenges of being a teenage parent? Are you pregnant right now or do you have a pregnant girlfriend and are busy experiencing the excitement and anxiety of becoming a parent? Have you decided you definitely don’t want to be a teen parent? Have you been pregnant in the past? Does your teenage sister have a baby? Whatever your situation, chances are, you have been or are currently affected by teenage pregnancy in some way. That means you have valuable insights into how to tackle the issue of teen pregnancy in your community.
But, why is teenage pregnancy a problem?
A survey of GOLD Peer Educators in 2009 in South Africa, Botswana and Zambia revealed teenage pregnancy as the biggest issue on young people’s minds and facing their communities. Research also shows that teenage pregnancy is a major issue in communities across sub-Saharan Africa and in 2006, the UN Population Fund described teenage pregnancy in Zambia as a “crisis”.
The issues teen pregnancy raises are complicated, especially when the pregnancy is unplanned. When you are not emotionally, physically and mentally ready for parenthood, it can cause a lot of problems. Raising children is very important and parenthood is a responsibility. Before becoming parents, couples should be prepared to provide a child with a loving, secure family and home. Often, teenage parents have not thought through the responsibilities of parenthood. They find themselves facing parenthood after getting drunk one night and having sex even though they had made a decision to wait to have sex. Whether they’re pregnant by forgetting to wear a condom, giving in to a demanding boyfriend or tragically, as a result of rape - the consequences for teen parents can be very challenging. Although parenthood can be wonderful, it’s clear that unplanned teenage pregnancy can cause a lot of problems for teenagers, their families and communities.
Some of the consequences of teenage pregnancy
Body
Sexually transmitted infections (STIS) and HIV exposure - A pregnant teen and her partner have had unprotected sex which means that they have potentially been exposed to STIs, including HIV. This could affect the parents and the baby. It is vital for any pregnant woman to be tested for HIV and to get onto treatment to prevent her baby from becoming infected if she is HIV+.
Lack of adequate medical care - Due to fear of being found out and the stigma attached to pregnancy, pregnant teens may not get the correct medical care. This impacts the health of both mother and child.
Difficulties for young women during labour and delivery - Many young girls’ bodies are not developed enough yet to easily give birth, so pregnancy increases risks to their health.
World
Interrupted Education - Teens may have to drop out of school to care for their baby or get a job to support their new family. It is often hard to go back to school once the baby is born. With incomplete schooling, teen parents have a lot less opportunities and find it difficult to rise out of poverty.
Social life changes - Teen parents have responsibilities and can’t just go out with their friends like they did before their baby was born. They often have to miss out on normal teen activities.
Community disapproval - Many communities disapprove of young men and women who have had babies outside of marriage.
Mind
Isolation - Unfortunately, the relationship between a teen mother and father is often very strained or broken. This can lead to the teenage mother feeling isolated as she faces parenthood alone. She may also find that her family and friends are not supportive of her pregnancy.
Depression or stress - A teen mother can feel overwhelmed with the pressures of caring for a baby and potentially trying to go to school at the same time. The teen father may also experience stress at the thought of providing for a child when he is not earning an income. This may cause anxiety and fear.
Spiritual - If you are a person of faith you might feel alienated from God at a time when you need spiritual comfort more than ever. You may feel that you have not upheld your beliefs. Faith emphasises the importance of forgiveness, so if your faith is important to you, seek the advice of a wise spiritual advisor or a youth pastor whom you trust and find comfort in your faith community at this time.
How can I abstain?
Some teens don’t realize that not having sex until they are older and feel ready for a fully committed relationship is an option. It is! Not having sex is called abstinence and is the best way to avoid getting pregnant and contracting HIV and STIs. No one should ever pressurise you into having sex – not your boyfriend or girlfriend or your friends. You should be the one making that decision and it is a really important decision to make and think about seriously. Sex is a big step for a relationship, especially in your teens and can introduce a whole lot of complications like STIs and teen pregnancy as well as emotional pain.
That said, it can be really difficult saying no to sex, even when you believe you want to wait. You might find yourself in a situation where you feel pressurised into having sex, or your mind might be saying wait and your heart and body might be confused because you’re attracted to your boyfriend or girlfriend and think sex might increase intimacy. It’s important to try and keep a clear head and remind yourself why waiting is important to you. Try and figure out clear boundaries that you’d like to have in place and communicate these clearly with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Try not to get yourself into difficult situations where it would be difficult to say no. Surround yourself with people who can support you in your decision and regularly remind yourself why you want to wait. Remember, you are worth the best, expect the best.
If you’re feeling pressured into having sex, get help. Speak to a GOLD peer educator and facilitator. YOU are the only person who should decide whether to have sex or not. And remember, you don’t have to be a virgin to abstain. You can decide to stop having sex and abstain whenever you want to. Sex is a beautiful thing in the right place, but it can also be very destructive if things are not right. Give yourself the best chance of a healthy future by seriously thinking about your decisions about sex.
Teen parents speak out: We spoke to 3 teen moms and a teen dad to get the inside scoop on teen parenting.
Question:
Why do you think teenagers fall pregnant in your community?
Teen Mom aged 14
Some are just stupid (like I was). Alcohol and because the boy tells you he loves you and you must.
Teen Mom aged 16
We party too much, we have sex because our friends say it’s cool. We have sex to experiment and then we fall pregnant because we experiment without condom
Teen Mom aged 17
They experiment without protection. They are sexually active too early in life.
Teen Dad aged 18
Some girls are just easy, it’s like they ask for it and when they’re drunk it’s worse.
Question:
What are the biggest challenges of being a teen parent?
Teen Mom aged 14
Caring for her, concentrating on schoolwork and her. Sometimes I just want to rest but I can’t because then she’s awake.
Teen Mom aged 16
Looking after my child. Sometimes I just don’t know what she wants.
Teen Mom aged 17
Being in grade 10 and when I get home I must wash and feed and look after him. When I’m done, I’m tired.
Teen Dad aged 18
I can’t do the things I used to like go out with my friends. My mommy always reminds me that I have a child and I must look after him and be a good example.
Question:
What lessons have you learned as a teen parent?
Teen Mom aged 14
I must make better decisions, and it’s not a great idea to make decisions when you’re drunk.
Teen Mom aged 16
Blindly following the example of your friends isn’t a good idea.
Teen Mom aged 17
You must wear protection. You must wait for the right one to have sex.
Teen Dad aged 18
I must wear protection, I know that now.
Question:
How would you like people in your family, school & community to support you?
Teen Mom aged 14
By giving money, but he can’t because he doesn’t work. And by looking after her now and then.
Teen Mom aged 16
I don’t know where he is but I’d like him to visit her and help me and my parents care for her.
Teen Mom aged 17
Treat him like his son and support with food and clothes.
Teen Dad aged 18
He stays by his mommy.
Question:
What are your dreams for yourself? For your child?
Teen Mom aged 14
I want to become a nurse and I want her to have an education and not make the same mistakes I did.
Teen Mom aged 16
I want to finish school and then I want to become a doctor. I don’t want my child to do what I did. She must be successful in life.
Teen Mom aged 17
I’d like to become a police officer to fight crime and I’d like my son to grow up in a loving house and he must be a gentleman.
Teen Dad aged 18
I want to be a mechanic and I want him to make better decisions than I did.
Question:
What do you think teenagers could do to decrease the rate of teen pregnancy in your community?
Teen Mom aged 14
If they don’t want to stop drinking at least wear condoms or have friends that look after you.
Teen Mom aged 16
Keep sex for marriage!
Teen Mom aged 17
WEAR CONDOMS! BIRTH CONTROL!
Teen Dad aged 18
Drink responsibly and wear condoms.
A guy thing?
Often when people talk about the problem of teenage pregnancy they focus on the girl, but it takes two to tango and the girl’s partner has an important role to play. There are a number of ways a guy can respond when he finds out his partner is pregnant. Which of these make him a real man and which of these make him a real jerk? You decide.
"No one knows it was me, I am going to deny I slept with her. "
"Yoh! I am going to be a dad. I had not planned this and it’s going to be tough, but I am going to do everything I can to support this girl and our child."
"I am going to try and see if I can get a part time job after school so I can help with the baby’s expenses."
"How am I supposed to support a baby? I am still at school. The mother’s family will have to sort it out."
"I’m not even interested in that girl and only slept with her because I was drunk. There is no way I want anything to do with her or the baby. I am glad that it’s not my problem."
"I am going to talk to my family and tell them what has happened and ask their advice. I know they might be disappointed and shocked, but they have a right to know and they might be able to help."
"If I ever have sex again, I will always make sure to wear a condom."
At GOLD, we think that a real man isn't afraid to admit when he's made a mistake and ask for help. A real man will admit that he is as responsible for the pregnancy as the girl is and do all he can to support her and their child. A real man does the right thing.
